The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the views of The Prowler.

Give Us Coffee!

As Junior Oran Evenhaim once said, “School is a nutritious breakfast, if you count three espresso shots and a Clif bar a healthy start to your day.”

We all know what it feels like to stay up late at night finishing that one assignment, studying for that one test or planning that one TKI session. Whatever the cause, we’ve all had late nights and we’ve all paid the price for them in the morning.

I once heard a teacher complain about how she had been teaching since 8 AM with only bonus and lunch as a break. A shy student responded under her breath, “welcome to our lives.”

I’m not saying we work harder than teachers. Not at all. But what I am saying is that high school is a hard, time consuming, and never ending experience. And when we are all supposed to be getting A’s academically, A’s in socialization, A’s in family time and A’s in sleep, it can get to be a bit too much.

With so much going on in our lives it becomes incredibly challenging to get the eight hours of sleep we are so repeatedly told we need.

As a substitute for lack of sleep, many of us turn to the next best thing. Coffee. We venture out on our treacherous route to school to our local watering hole. Starbucks.

For some unlucky folks, there is too much traffic to factor in time to make this stop along the way. Or, for the really unlucky, one cup is simply not enough to counteract the deadly effects of insufficient sleep the night before.

According to our parent organization, coffee is unhealthy, and therefore we cannot sell it at the JagShack. But, if we did, we would benefit in several ways.

First of all, the obvious rise in revenue. We all know the value of money. We all know the amount of students that drink coffee. So, why not combine the two? Sell coffee and see the increase in sales in an instant.

Second, after extensive reading on AuthorityNutrition.com I found that coffee is actually “loaded with antioxidants and beneficial nutrients that can improve your health.” So really, the school is impinging on our right to have healthy immune systems by not selling coffee (!).

When caffeine travels to the brain it blocks a neurotransmitter, Adenosine, which actually increases the amount of “norepinephrine and dopamine, leading to enhanced firing of neurons.” That means coffee makes you feel good. Also, studies show that caffeine increases “memory, mood, vigilance, energy levels, reaction times and general cognitive function.”

So, with all of these un-negotiable benefits, how can we say that coffee is unhealthy and that by withholding it, we are helping ourselves?Especially when you consider all the unhealthy snacks that are offered by the JagShack and the vending machines.

After a hunt to the JagShack, I found that everyone’s favorite bag of Zapp’s Voodoo chips contains 300 calories, 16g of fat and 480mg of sodium (which equates to a third of a day’s daily consumption).

Cheez-Its, which are highly popular, contain 420 calories, 11g of fat, and 320mg of sodium. And even Arizona’s raspberry iced tea contains 22g of sugar and 23g of carbohydrate as well as 0% of any daily vitamins.

If there were a justifiable explanation as to why we cannot sell coffee, we the caffeine-addicted student body might accept it. However, as proven by me, the explanation can clearly not be simply that coffee is unhealthy!