After a long, draining school day filled with tests disparate from the study guide and drama instigated by an attention-seeking friend, nothing pushes a teenager over the edge faster than an adult with a superiority complex. I mean come on, what could be more frustrating than a millennial who thinks they empathize with our long days when they can barely work an iPhone? What they think is comforting actually comes across as patronizing and conceited. Here are the top five instant mood-killer boomer phrases that would ruin an already bad day:
1. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Really? Because they’re older and don’t seem to understand. In AP Psychology, I learned about the Flynn Effect, which states that each generation surpasses the previous generation in intelligence. According to that psychological phenomenon, we won’t just understand when we’re older, but will actually understand more. Soon they’re going to be the ones who “don’t understand.” So why don’t we all stay in our own lane, and do what works for us? That was rhetorical – we should all stay in our own lane.
2. “Because I said so.”
Because you said so?? This really strikes a nerve like no other. After constantly being told to stay quiet by teachers, getting kicked out of the lunch line by supervisors, and feeling judged by older students, the last thing you need is an authoritarian parent. If my parents want their requests to be respected, the least they can do is provide me with real reasoning. “Because I said so,” it isn’t real reasoning; it’s a logical fallacy where power replaces evidence and obedience replaces understanding. Instead of supporting a rule with logic, it shuts down conversation entirely. How can mutual respect be established when the only argument a parent makes is backed by control rather than explanation?
I just want to include that while this review may sound critical of parents, let me make it clear, I love my parents deeply and they are my best friends.
3. “How many times do I need to tell you??”
Apparently one more!
4. “It’s that dang phone.”
Interesting take, considering you just spent 45 minutes scrolling Facebook and sending dog GIFS in the family group chat. Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think? (Alanis Morisette reference for any millennials reading). But yes, of course it’s the phone that is the root of our stress, and not the homework, expectations, or existential dread about college acceptances and careers. After sitting in class all day, being tested, corrected, and judged, sometimes scrolling is the only way to shut my brain off. You unwind with TV or the news, we unwind with our phones. Same concept, different screen; same decompressing, refrain from criticism.
5. “That’s not even anything to stress about.”
How is that providing any comfort at all? Adults simply don’t understand the stress of posting an embarrassing snapchat to a public story, and not realizing for hours. How would they understand how humiliating it is to text on a group chat and have no one respond? Don’t you remember when someone in your house picked up another receiver and listened in on your phone call with your crush… back when homes had shared landlines. But that’s not a relevant issue anymore – I literally had to ask ChatGPT what those phones were called. Parents and their opinions are simply out of touch with modern day issues. Sorry, but if the year you were born in begins with a “19,” you have no right to invalidate us 2000’s kids’ stress.
