High school has a stigma of being the most conflicting four years of your life.  It’s harder than middle school but easier than college. You are stuck – you want independence, but you still rely on your parents to pay for your Uber. You want to succeed and get all A’s, but also want to quit and give up all at the same time.  

However, between all the meltdowns, the lab reports, and last minute essays, there is always room for friends.

Any high schooler would agree that friends are the people we seek comfort from when those meltdowns, lab reports, and last minute essays start to overwhelm our lives.  

That being said, over the course of the year I have noticed that all the stress and changes are hurting friendships.

Through this experience I have noticed a common barrier between making friends and breaking friends: group chats.  

Group chats have become a new form of bullying. They have become a way for people to let others think that they either belong or they are not wanted.  

The focus has shifted from caring about who is in what Instagram picture or how many people liked a comment on Facebook to if you are in a certain group chat or not; all kids want to do now is make group chats.  

And yes, while this does sound innocent because the chats aren’t public and colleges can’t see them, they can be traumatizing.  

Let me tell you: as stupid as it sounds, it hurts.  

Modern technology has made it easier for people to be mean to each other.

Yes, group chats are a great way to bring people together and make new circles of friends, but they are also the best way to make someone feel like they are not wanted or have done something wrong.  

People take screenshots and share what has been said, people remove/add others, and people even make big group chats followed by ones with half of the original people, revealing who is truly wanted in that particular friend group.  

While kids are creating chats thinking they are safe and secure and believe everyone will adhere to the “what happens here stays here” rule, we all know this almost never happens.  

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not 100% against group chats.  

I think it is important to acknowledge that you cannot include everyone all the time.  It’s almost impossible unless you want to turn your kick-back with your “30 closest friends” into a party of 100+ kids. I am all for having a close group of friends and understand the fact you can’t have many people at your house at a given time.

I’m not writing this to get invitations or sympathy for myself or anyone else.   

I just want us to think.  Think about what it means to be inclusive and exclusive.  If you are only going to invite a few kids to your party, don’t publicize the party. And don’t claim to be inclusive when you aren’t including everyone.

If you are going to exclude people, own up to it, apologize, and accept it.